wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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