I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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