I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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