you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
