girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
