I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
