I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
