areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
