Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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