went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
