FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
