So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
