I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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