Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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