My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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