the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
