so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
