Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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