I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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