so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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