ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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