Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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