Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
