It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
