Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
where are my eyebrows?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize