her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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