If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
