It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
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whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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