Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
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Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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