I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
