i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
