So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
