If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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