we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
