Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize