yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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