I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
