That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
