im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
are you so shy because you have an std?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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