Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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