I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
