Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize