Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
