i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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