I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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