I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just pynch a tree in the face
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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