Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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