I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
