how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
