# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This baby is an asshole
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
