i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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