At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
