Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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