I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
