her vagine was all disorganized.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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