I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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