just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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