She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
nutella sex= disaster
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
