do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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