I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
