If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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