I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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