Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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